Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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