I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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