She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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