You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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