can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I cut my penus on the lid.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize