Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
