Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
