What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize