I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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