pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
