Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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