im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
