He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
