We're like a lot better than the average bears
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
