you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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