we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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