well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
