I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
