I hate your face
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
