I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
