I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
