What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
