i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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