So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
