I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
