Dual....:-)
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
