My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my phone needs a breathalizer
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
