We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
