I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
