You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
