i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
