ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize