TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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