Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
