i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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