The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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