update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
