You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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