you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
