i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Randomize
