R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
