were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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