i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
