Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
false alarm, still single
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
