you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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