U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize