Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
