Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize