yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
