If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
