theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
