so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
