I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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