I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
