the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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