i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
