wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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