Someone shit on the floor
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
