watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
