Your tits are I can't wait for
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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