Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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