Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
