there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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